Heroes & Villains

I should have a photo for his post, but I don't.  The story involves 25 fourth-graders, though, so a monkey is good.

Yesterday I attended a class event at R's school.  Each student chose a historical figure, read a biography, wrote a presentation, and shared their research with the class - dressed up like the person they chose to study.  Several parents came; we sat in the back and took pictures (except of course, me).

We learned about the athlete Yao Ming, George Lucas, Christopher Columbus ("My hair turned white by the time I was thirty!"), Queen Elisabeth I, Johnny Appleseed ("I'm a vegetarian and I LOOOOVE apples."), Mother Teresa and Rosa Parks.

R was the Red Baron.  His presentation was one of the first.  It seemed to set the tone, and frankly it was illustrative, for me, of the tenuous, spider-silk line between control and pandemonium that exists in any normal classroom.  (R's teacher, by the way, is an expert at keeping that line intact while remaining calm.)

The Red Baron (wearing a bomber jacket and scarf) told all about himself, then had his teacher show YouTube video of Snoopy fighting his nemesis.  You know how many iterations of the same thing exist on YouTube...well the teacher queued up one that looked normal for thirty seconds, then suddenly in the background behind Snoopy appeared a very attractive blond woman in a T-shirt that was much too small.  Teacher ran for the stop button, and we all clapped for the Red Baron.

Mary Todd Lincoln was another highlight. Her presentation was in interview form.

Q:  "Describe your marriage to Abraham Lincoln."

A:  "It had its ups and downs..."

Q:  "How many children did you have?"

A:  "We had three sons.  One son died when he was little.  One son died after Abraham Lincoln did, and the other son had mental issues."

End of interview.

Mickey Mouse told all about Walt Disney's life.  Her last line: "On December 15, 1966, he died of lung cancer and went to heaven."

Cleopatra was blond and gorgeous.  She described her reign, her struggles with Roman empire, and the bothersome Marc Antony bit.  Then she walked over to the teacher's terrarium, grabbed the class's pet snake, pretended to let it bite her and collapsed gracefully to the floor.

Since he's a popular kid and quite dramatic, R got to play a lot of supporting roles.  He was Pat Garrett and shot Billy the Kid, but he really shone as John Wilkes Booth.  Abraham Lincoln gave a solemn presentation ("I had a cousin named Dennis.") with lots of good facts, the last of which was the shooting at Ford's Theatre.  At that point, John Wilkes Booth (R, in a black bowler hat) ran up and shot Lincoln and he sprawled between all the desks.

Then Mary Todd Lincoln stormed out of her seat and chased John Wilkes Booth around the room until the teacher said stop.

It's hard to know how to end this post without a shooting.  Blam!  There. (applause)